You’ve made it to your 40’s. You’re hanging in there pretty good for your age, but you want to look and feel better. The kids are older and drive themselves to work and activities, and your husband loves to watch sports. Sounds like the perfect opportunity for some “me time.”
You decide to join a gym. You don’t want to go crazy on an exercise bike or lift weights. You just want to decompress, get in shape, and maybe fit into a smaller dress size. A dance aerobics class is the perfect choice. And after just two weeks and a lot of sweat, you are thrilled with your decision, especially the results. Your cardio is up, you have more energy, lost a few pounds, and even made a friend.
She’s about your age and also married with children. You go to the same classes together and talk about everything. You have a lot in common, even having similar features and body types. You joke how you’re long lost sisters and giggle when the instructor gets your names backward.
Up to this point and three months into a budding friendship, you only see each other at class and talk or text on the phone. But that’s about to change. The weather has gotten warm, and everyone has uncovered their barbecue grills. Summer is back, and your friend wants to get together over the weekend. She invites you and your husband to her house for burgers and beers. You accept.
Saturday arrives. You’re dressed casual and comfortable, something new you bought since joining the gym. You pull into you friends driveway, and she comes out to greet you immediately. Coincidence, but you’re practically dressed in the same outfit. You both laugh out loud, and she turns to your husband and mentions how you were separated at birth. Haha!
You go inside to meet her husband and get a quick tour of the house. Her husband passes on the typical pleasantries, grabs your husband by the shoulder, and brings him to the backyard for a beer. You end up seeing the whole house, get stories behind all the pictures, and even look through a baby book. You finally make it to the back deck, where the guys are kidding around like old college buddies.
Things are going well. The sun is shining, the food is delicious, and the beers are flowing. There’s even a beanbag toss in the yard. You and your husband have the same game at your house, and you’ve gotten quite good. You mention how you play, so your friend, in good fun, throws down her napkin to accept the challenge. All four of you adjourn for a little friendly competition.
For the first game, it’s couple against couple, so the girls are on one side and boys on the other. It becomes quickly evident that you are a better player than your friend, so you take it easy on her, but you and your husband win nonetheless. Again, beers are flowing, and your friend seems to be feeling the effects. She not stumbling or anything, just acting differently from what you’re used to. She’s getting very chatty and laughing about everything, especially when your husband says something. You’ve known him for more than twenty years. He’s friendly and even charming, but not particularly funny. It’s the first red flag.
For the second game, your friend decides to switch up the teams. She said you are so good at the game, she wants you on her team. Without hesitation, she runs to the other side and stands next to your husband. It’s another red flag.
The game ensues, and it’s becoming apparent that your friend is paying more attention to your husband’s play, rather than her own. Her throws are missing the board entirely, and whenever your husband makes a good shot, she gives him a high five. It’s weird. He’s on the other team. And to make matters worse, she hustles to pick up all the beanbags, even his. And while doing so, puts her butt in the air, as if her knees are locked. That’s flags three, four, and five.
Finally the game is over, and your friend suggests dessert. Everyone heads back to the deck. By this time, you haven’t gone to the bathroom once, so you excuse yourself and go inside. When you return, the food is on the table, and low and behold, your friend is sitting right next to your husband. And all through dessert, she grabs his arm every time she wants to comment on something he’s said. That’s flags number six and seven. This day couldn’t end fast enough.
It’s time to leave, and your friend walks you to your car. She hugs you and gives you a kiss on your cheek. She’s never done that before. You know what’s next. She hugs your husband and gives him a kiss as well. You’re no longer counting flags and raise an eyebrow instead. Your husband sees it for sure, but your friend is oblivious. That ride home got interesting, because before you could even contemplate how to confront your friend, you had to give your husband a little verbal beat down first.
Fast forward through the drunk texts your friend sent that night about how happy she was you all got together, how she couldn’t wait for the next time, how she thought your husband was so funny, and get this, how she loved the picture she posted on social media of all four of you. She must have taken twenty pictures, but she picked that one. She’s all smiles and leaning against your husband. You, on the other hand, happened to have your eyes closed, and look like you were chewing food. By Sunday morning breakfast, you were already checking the gym schedule for different class times.
Unfortunately, there are no times that fit your schedule. A Callemonit is certainly justified, but you don’t know exactly what to say. You really enjoy her company, but not when your husband is around. Also, you don’t want to make going to aerobics class uncomfortable, and you definitely don’t want to quit. You decide to hold off on Callemonit and see what happens next class.
You’re very anxious about seeing your friend again, but surprise, next class comes and goes, and she makes no mention of your husband. Actually, a whole month goes by and still nothing. You consider that maybe she was just drunk, and doesn’t even realize she offended you.
But then it happens. When you’re walking together in the parking lot, she says, “Hey, guess what? I’ve been practicing the bean bag toss every night, and I’m really much better, maybe as good as you. I bet your husband will be giving me high fives next time.”
Seriously? It’s time for Callemonit. You respond, “I don’t think there’ll be a next time. I think you are more interested in my husband than our friendship. I mean come on, the picnic was a disaster…the giggling like a schoolgirl, the grabbing his arm, and do you always pick things up that way?” The friend must have felt guilty, because she had no reply.
With this Callemonit, you had to stop the emotional roller coaster. Being just gym friends was an unrealistic compromise. This relationship had to end. You couldn’t live with the deception and disrespect any longer, and the friend would have only heightened her flirtation as she became more confident. She wasn’t a true friend.
In the end, you continued to go to the same classes, and your ex-friend picked other times and quit shortly after. You never spoke again. Even though you had some sadness over the departure, this was a Callemonit success. Goodbye stress!
Do you have a flirting friend who craves attention, especially when drinking? Do you think Callemonit would even make a difference?