The Steel Curtain
For all those employees who ever walked by a pinned photocopy invitation to play company softball, then smirked thinking, “Oh please! Softball isn’t a real sport like hardball,” they’d be sorely mistaken.
When that ball is launched from a scientifically engineered state of the art aluminum bat, and it bounces through a mind field of rocks on a poorly maintained municipal field, on its way to either the pocket of your glove or your eyeliner eyeball, you definitely aren’t thinking, “It’s ok…it’s just a softball.” There isn’t anything soft about it. Plus, it’s twice the size of a baseball.
What…you’re confused about the eyeliner reference? Did I mention it’s a coed softball league? And the requirement is to have at least one female player on the field the entire game.
We had two girls on our team, both starters and full time combatants. And they were pivotal to the success of softball’s version of The Steel Curtain. Continue reading “Softball Girlfriend Struggles – Marriage Callemonit”
Should have paid attention
Boy, the reality of adulthood can sure be a kick in the teeth. One minute you’re finessing backhands over the net in a varsity tennis championship, and the next you’re cutting lawns for your father’s landscape business. Granted, he let you enjoy a couple weeks post graduation of sleeping late with no responsibility. But on the Tuesday after the Memorial Day Holiday, it was time to man a mower.
You sure wish you’d paid more attention to the books in school. Your parents have always worked hard, but it’s been pretty much just making a living. So there was no college money earmarked for you. Therefore you were banking on getting an athletic scholarship. But on all your career days and during every guilt ridden interview, the immediate red flag was your poor grades. No institution was willing to overlook academic underachievement for the sake of athleticism.
As a result of your lack of effort, you were given an ultimatum. If you were to remain under your parents roof and were no longer a student, you had to get a job. Continue reading “Holiday Help Hassle – Callemonit”
You and your best buddy Denny have lived in the same small Boston town your whole lives. And for forty plus hours a week, you work for a very reputable roofing company. That means decent pay and steady employment. It’s an honest living for a couple of twenty-something single guys, but it’s not the dream career of owning a bar.
In Boston, there’s practically a corner bar…well…on every corner. But you and Denny are loyal to just one.
It’s called O’Neil’s Pub. Out front is a wooden sign shaped like a shamrock. But it’s not the customary Kelly green however. The paint is a faded mint with orange stains from the rusted chain supports. Even the letters have fallen victim to time and temperature. Newcomers to the neighborhood actually call it Neil’s Pub. Continue reading “Bar Boys Blunder – Callemonit”
Represent The Family
During the 70’s, growing up in a large Italian American family had some specific guidelines about interacting with the outside world. It was a different time.
Mother would say, “Listen here kids! When you walk out that front door, you are representing the entire family. You will look proper and act proper. You will not disrespect our name, and you will not embarrass me.”
And Dad would add, “Remember, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And never tell anyone what goes on behind closed doors.”
That was quite bit of pressure for a seven year old heading to the bus stop carrying a Star Wars lunchbox.
But in the family way, you embraced the feeling of belonging and loyalty. Continue reading “Time For Me Too Please – Callemonit”
A FATHER’S EXPERIENCE WITH bullying
It’s said that of all the five senses, “smell” has the strongest memory recall. For instance, heavy colognes and perfumes remind you of teenage dating. Baking cookies brings you home to Mom’s house. And fragrant candles are associated with holidays.
Likewise, this theory holds true for the pungent aroma of a boys high school locker room. Mix mildew, deodorant, Bengay, and body odor, and you get a concoction that will stay in your memory for a lifetime.
However in your case, this stinky blast from the past elicits more than, “Ooh! Smells like a school gym locker in here.” Continue reading “Teenage Body Image Stress – Callemonit”
KIDS ARE GROWN SO you’re MOVING OUT
Forty years ago, you and your newlywed wife bought a single house in the suburbs. It was much too big for just two people and a dog, so filling it with the pitter-patter of little feet seemed like the right thing to do.
When all the child-rearing was complete, four confident pairs of shoes walked out the front door, and it was surely an eclectic array of personalities. There were high heels, sneakers, work boots, and a pair of wingtips.
As proud parents, you and your beloved faced each other at the threshold, breathed a sigh of relief, extended a congratulatory high five, and re-entered a sadly unfamiliar abode…a big quiet empty house. Even the sounds of barking could only be heard in Heaven. Continue reading “Dog Needs A Doghouse – Callemonit”
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION REKINDLES OLD FRIENDSHIPS
Ten years ago, you were twenty-three and your high school was having a five year reunion. Normally reunions start at the tenth year. But your graduating class was a very tight knit group, so getting together on a Saturday night at a fire station hall was more than just an excuse to party and dance, it was an opportunity to re-establish connections with old friends.
For you particularly, it was a reuniting of “The Three S’s” or the “Super Smart Sisters” or the “Sultry Soul Singers.” Whatever the name was back in the day, a title you and your two best girlfriends actually dubbed yourselves, it simply reflected the fact that you were dear friends and all your names started with “S.” Continue reading “Reunion Worsens Depression – Callemonit”
Is there anything better than a beach vacation?
And probably the best version of the sun soaked sand oasis is at an island resort. Private getaways provide opportunity to overlook the ocean blue and bask in the sunshine under cotton candy skies, with no unwanted intrusion.
But what if this picturesque retreat with all inclusive amenities isn’t quite in your budget? Instead, your rest and relaxation will hopefully be achieved on the coastline of a heavily populated shore community. Fancy drinks out of coconut shells, surrounded by palm trees, are replaced by soda cups and wall to wall rainbow umbrellas. Continue reading “Beach Vacation Etiquette – Callemonit”
No more renting after marriage
You and your newlywed wife have saved enough money to move out of an apartment and become first time homebuyers. Admittedly you are not very handy, so you convince your beloved to buy a house that’s move in ready, new construction.
It takes a little time, but you eventually find an affordable development that accommodates two main requirements. It’s located close to the train station, since you both commute a far distance to work, and it’s in a good school district for when kids enter the picture.
The new house is a twin design. It has a decent sized patch of grass for a front yard but practically no backyard. It also has a one car driveway but no garage. So, in terms of outdoor storage space, everyone has a small shed along the side of the house for the lawnmower and basic landscaping tools. Continue reading “Kids Toys Everywhere – Callemonit”
First day jitters are eliminated
The relationship between women is a remarkable social dynamic, ever evolving yet reliably stable and able to support the weight of the world. Comparatively, it’s more dependable than frivolous bromances born over beers while commiserating pro team shortcomings.
Specifically, one minute two twenty something female coworkers are complete strangers, and the next they’re bridesmaids at each other’s weddings. When honesty is the foundation, the female bond endures a lifetime.
With a sweaty palm and shaky hand, you nervously hit a “3” on the elevator panel. You have just a few floors to prepare for crossing the border into a hostile country, or at least that’s how it feels. As the doors opens, you are inundated with foreign sights and sounds. And stepping from the transporter, you pause and look down the distant aisle. You just want to locate a friendly face. Continue reading “Weight A Minute Please – Callemonit”