Finally, the dog days of summer are nearly in the books. Jill and her five year old son Kyle have been cooped up in their tiny air conditioned apartment for nearly a week. With temperatures unseasonably warm, rising above 90, it’s been too hot to hit the playground. Plus the plastic slides, which are Kyle’s favorite, cook in the midday sun like a stovetop.
So a much welcomed cold front is the perfect remedy for a touch of cabin fever.
But Kyle’s opportunity to run off some energy is dependent on more than weather. He needs his partner in crime, five year old Joey. The two tykes are best buddies on the primary colored apparatus.
Unfortunately, Joey has made the cutoff age for preschool enrollment.
Here’s a novel concept for a discount grocery store. Build a business model that cuts costs in previously unforeseen ways, then pass the savings onto the consumer. Amazing! With that mindset, it’s bound to be a huge success.
Yeah, I know. It’s not such a new idea. As always, I’m a day late and a dollar short.
But on the bright side, I do eat food, and unless I have a sustainable farm in my backyard (which I don’t), I can become one of the growing number of consumers who are currently benefiting from a smarter way of shopping.
For all those employees who ever walked by a pinned photocopy invitation to play company softball, then smirked thinking, “Oh please! Softball isn’t a real sport like hardball,” they’d be sorely mistaken.
When that ball is launched from a scientifically engineered state of the art aluminum bat, and it bounces through a mind field of rocks on a poorly maintained municipal field, on its way to either the pocket of your glove or your eyeliner eyeball, you definitely aren’t thinking, “It’s ok…it’s just a softball.” There isn’t anything soft about it. Plus, it’s twice the size of a baseball.
What…you’re confused about the eyeliner reference? Did I mention it’s a coed softball league? And the requirement is to have at least one female player on the field the entire game.
Boy, the reality of adulthood can sure be a kick in the teeth. One minute you’re finessing backhands over the net in a varsity tennis championship, and the next you’re cutting lawns for your father’s landscape business. Granted, he let you enjoy a couple weeks post graduation of sleeping late with no responsibility. But on the Tuesday after the Memorial Day Holiday, it was time to man a mower.
You sure wish you’d paid more attention to the books in school. Your parents have always worked hard, but it’s been pretty much just making a living. So there was no college money earmarked for you. Therefore you were banking on getting an athletic scholarship. But on all your career days and during every guilt ridden interview, the immediate red flag was your poor grades. No institution was willing to overlook academic underachievement for the sake of athleticism.
You and your best buddy Denny have lived in the same small Boston town your whole lives. And for forty plus hours a week, you work for a very reputable roofing company. That means decent pay and steady employment. It’s an honest living for a couple of twenty-something single guys, but it’s not the dream career of owning a bar.
In Boston, there’s practically a corner bar…well…on every corner. But you and Denny are loyal to just one.
It’s called O’Neil’s Pub. Out front is a wooden sign shaped like a shamrock. But it’s not the customary Kelly green however. The paint is a faded mint with orange stains from the rusted chain supports. Even the letters have fallen victim to time and temperature. Newcomers to the neighborhood actually call it Neil’s Pub. Continue reading “Bar Boys Blunder – Friendship Callemonit”
During the 70’s, growing up in a large Italian American family had some specific guidelines about interacting with the outside world. It was a different time.
Mother would say, “Listen here kids! When you walk out that front door, you are representing the entire family. You will look proper and act proper. You will not disrespect our name, and you will not embarrass me.”
And Dad would add, “Remember, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And never tell anyone what goes on behind closed doors.”
That was quite bit of pressure for a seven year old heading to the bus stop carrying a Star Wars lunchbox.
It’s said that of all the five senses, “smell” has the strongest memory recall. For instance, heavy colognes and perfumes remind you of teenage dating. Baking cookies brings you home to Mom’s house. And fragrant candles are associated with holidays.
Likewise, this theory holds true for the pungent aroma of a boys high school locker room. Mix mildew, deodorant, Bengay, and body odor, and you get a concoction that will stay in your memory for a lifetime.
Forty years ago, you and your newlywed wife bought a single house in the suburbs. It was much too big for just two people and a dog, so filling it with the pitter-patter of little feet seemed like the right thing to do.
When all the child-rearing was complete, four confident pairs of shoes walked out the front door, and it was surely an eclectic array of personalities. There were high heels, sneakers, work boots, and a pair of wingtips.
As proud parents, you and your beloved faced each other at the threshold, breathed a sigh of relief, extended a congratulatory high five, and re-entered a sadly unfamiliar abode…a big quiet empty house. Even the sounds of barking could only be heard in Heaven. Continue reading “Dog Needs A Doghouse – Neighbor Callemonit”
Ten years ago, you were twenty-three and your high school was having a five year reunion. Normally reunions start at the tenth year. But your graduating class was a very tight knit group, so getting together on a Saturday night at a fire station hall was more than just an excuse to party and dance, it was an opportunity to re-establish connections with old friends.
For you particularly, it was a reuniting of “The Three S’s” or the “Super Smart Sisters” or the “Sultry Soul Singers.” Whatever the name was back in the day, a title you and your two best girlfriends actually dubbed yourselves, it simply reflected the fact that you were dear friends and all your names started with “S.” Continue reading “Reunion Worsens Depression – Friendship Callemonit”
And probably the best version of the sun soaked sand oasis is at an island resort. Private getaways provide opportunity to overlook the ocean blue and bask in the sunshine under cotton candy skies, with no unwanted intrusion.
But what if this picturesque retreat with all inclusive amenities isn’t quite in your budget? Instead, your rest and relaxation will hopefully be achieved on the coastline of a heavily populated shore community. Fancy drinks out of coconut shells, surrounded by palm trees, are replaced by soda cups and wall to wall rainbow umbrellas. Continue reading “Beach Vacation Etiquette – Stranger Callemonit”